Lady's Man
by RimZtheNonForgiveR
Summary: A collection of DxL ficlets, sometimes including the rest of the gang.
1. A Special Kind of Alarm Clock

**A/N: **Sorry, but no, this is not a new story FFnet deleted my story last Monday because, and I quote _"Title/Summary not Fiction G rated and not suitable for all audience."_ blah-blah-blah, kiss my ass. It didn't help that that same exact day I lost my USB. So, yeah, was kinda pissed about that...actually, I still am...but whatever, I'll do something about that later. Well, if you feel like reading this again, EnJOY!

* * *

_A Special Kind of Alarm Clock_

The Light was blinding.

Light.

Morning.

"Shit."

It wasn't that Dante wasn't a morning person…Okay, maybe that _was_ part of it, but it was also because hangovers and morning light didn't mix. At all. That and Lady was going to kill him because he wasn't up yet for a mission they had later on in the day. She suggested getting an alarm clock, but that just wasn't his thing.

Another thing he noticed was why the hell the sun was so freaking bright, it was _snowing_ for crying out loud.

Snow.

Cold.

It was with those thoughts that he realized his room wasn't cold what-so-ever. In fact, his room was _way_ too hot for it to be only his body heat, and so he searched around for the heat source. He came upon a head full of ebony.

Dante smirked.

Yeah, _sure_ he wasn't up on time, but neither was she. He could always use that excuse. Little lady sure as hell could handle her liquor, but then again, so could he, which resulted in a immature squabble, that turned into a drinking contest, which, inevitably, had her waking up in his bed.

_Ooh_, was she going to hear an earful when she woke up.

And since it was his bed and not hers, he had a right to do what he wanted and what he wanted to do was snuggle. So with that, he closed his eyes and draped his arm around her.

Or halfway for that matter.

Either chicky drank more than her stomach could handle, which most likely could be the case, or she gained a helluva lot of weight and he just didn't notice. Very unlikely.

He snorted…

…and then sniffed…

…and then sniffed again.

'_What the hell is that smell?' _

It was bothering him that he recognized it, it being the scent of smoke, sweat, and aftershave all combined in …_ aftershave_.

At the same time he thought that, a deep tenor-voiced groan sounded. Very tenor. Very deep. Very, _very _unladylike.

'_Oh, no…'_

He felt the body beside him shift his way, "Dante?"

The man in question was fully aware that he was hyperventilating and shaking uncontrollably when his eyes snapped open, "_Enzo_?"

They stared…

…and stared…

…and finally…

They screamed.

A lady's tinkling laughter soon followed.

* * *

**A/N: **Hah! This still gets me every time! Thanx for reading!


	2. Those Aren't Beans

_Those Aren't Beans_  
(In which Vergil is a bigger douchebag than usual.)

It was Lady's idea, really, to take a break from pizza that night. And Vergil and Trish, the big pushovers that they were-they were just sick of it as much as she was-agreed with her. So, in a tally of three-to-one the gang decided and ordered the next big thing in line,

Chinese Food.

Thus, there they sat that night, playing poker in the living room/kitchen/office, enjoying-Dante not so much-their cheap Chinese take-out that they ordered from the restaurant a couple blocks down from the shop. And all was going just right with them-except for Dante-when he crunched upon something that was not supposed to be _that _crunchy because he didn't order anything that crunched like _that_. It also didn't help that the taste was _revolting_. Further inspection proved that there were things, little brown-striped ovular_ things_, that were, indeed, _not_ supposed to be there.

"_Aww_, _dude_," the Devil Hunter complained, briefly gaining the attention of two of the three occupants at the table, "They put _beans_ in my food." He cursed, tossing down his fork in a mild temper tantrum.

Lady huffed in slight exasperation. "Well, _duh_, it's chicken fried rice, _Dante_, there's supposed to be beans." With the click of her tongue, Lady returned to the game ready to play her newly acquired royal flush.

Dante, in turn, rolled his electric blues at her comment, "No, _Lady_," he imitated her tone, bringing out a forkful of the object his disgust was directed, "I'm talkin 'bout _these_, not those string lookin shits." Vergil gave Dante's fork a disdainful glance and a dry imitation of a chuckle before going back to the game. Lady clicked her tongue in annoyance and took a heap onto her spoon.

"May I have some?" Trish asked, wanting to try anything of everything that was still foreign to her. Dante all too willingly complied.

Lady paused, looking the contents of her utensil over in mild interest. "I don't know if it's just me, but these sort of remind me of…"

"Roach eggs." The blue-clad half demon finished for her.

"Exactly." She agreed, taking spoonful in her mouth. After she, swallowed she continued, "I wonder what kind of beans-"

"_Those_," Vergil cut in, as usual, voice deadpanned, "Are not beans."

"…"

"…"

A blink.

A dead-panned stare.

"So, then, these _are_…" She trailed off, already knowing but dreading the answer.

"Roach eggs," he took a bite of his un-roach egg-infested chicken teriyaki dish, "Precisely."

The sounds of two eating utensils hitting the floor were what soon followed.

"Dude!" Dante whined coming out of his blankness to glare at the ebony-haired woman to the left of him, "_Dude_!"

"Do _not_ look at me like this is m-my fault, because this is _not_ my fault!" she gasped out, holding a hand to her mouth, "O-oh, _God_."

"Like hell it isn't! You're the one that wanted this crap in the first place. Hell, for all I know you coulda called them up and told them to put the damn things in!"

She rolled her heterochromatic eyes, "Yeah, because I'm just going to call them up and tell them _"Hey can you make sure to put roach eggs in the chicken fried rice, it's a prank for my idiot friend."_ and then _eat_ the damn thing so I wouldn't look suspicious!"

"AH-_HAH_!" He pointed an indicting finger at her, "So you _do_ admit to it!"

"WOULD YOU SHUT _UP_!" the Demon Hunter bellowed, eyes flaring, "It's not helping your intelligence knowing that _you_ were the one that ordered! As an afterthought," she turned on him with suspicious eyes, "This _does_ sound like something you would do."

Trish interrupted before he could retaliate with more nonsense, "Uh…roaches," she frowned, tilting her head of blond in confusion, "Those are the big brown insects that crunch when you step on them?"

Lady nodded numbly.

It was the blond's turn to drop her fork.

There was a moment of silence in which the blond she-devil cast a glance of 'I'm going to be sick and _pretty_ soon' in Dante's direction, Dante glared accusingly at Lady, Lady, ignoring Dante's accusatory stare, aimed her 'look of doom' at Vergil, Vergil, in the meanwhile, stared vacantly off into space.

At last, there was a rumble of stomachs in which Lady turned an unnatural shade of green and tore off to the bathroom without further ado. Trish, knowing she wasn't going to be fortunate enough to make it to the bathroom, opted for hurrying out the building to up heave her food instead.

And just imagine, all of this taking place while Vergil sat there, unconcerned for the well-being of his coworkers/ brother with not even a touch of empathy on his expression.

Dante winced and clutched at his stomach when it too began to gurgle, "This," He started to no one in particular, "_This_ is why I stick to pizza!" He then gave into temptation and relived the night's dinner on the office's hardwood floor.


	3. Thanksgiving

_Thanksgiving_

"Hey, Thanksgiving's today, guys!"

A shuffle of paper, "And?"

"What do you mean 'And?' it's _Thanksgiving_, we should do something."

Another shuffle of paper, "And?"

A closing shut of a book, "Don't knock Trish, Dante, we should do something."

A very reluctant sigh, "I don't see why we should, we did something last year."

Lady trained her russet-teal eyes on the red-clad Devil Hunter, "Dante," she started, sounding highly exasperated, "We were demon hunting last year. That's highly un-Thanksgiving…ish."

"Yeah, well, the Indians hunted down a turkey didn't they?" Meeting Lady's bored expression, he sighed, "So what? We did something the year before that, didn't we?"

"Demon hunting." Trish answered.

"Okay then. The year _before_ that one?"

"…"

"Demon hunting. Of course. Why'd I even ask?" He mumbled to himself.

"The point is, Dante," The ebony haired huntress started, "We should do something this year that's not demon related. Nobody's calling in anyways."

"No, there _was_ a call, Verge just took it." Dante put away the weapon magazine he was reading, already knowing he was going to lose this battle, "Probably knew something like this was gonna happen. Smart bastard." He shook his head, "So, enlighten me, babe, what're we doin' this year?"

Dante turned the question to Lady, who in turn turned to Trish, the main cause of the whole argument. The blond, in turn, answered, "Cook?" It was more a question than anything, though.

Dante, for the record scoffed, but Lady, instead, thought it a good idea and agreed, which sent Dante to scoff again. That in itself was enough to start another argument.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?' she asked, aggravated.

He flinched and responded hurriedly. "Nothing. It's just that…" he trailed off, not sure how to finish.

"Just what, Dante? You trying to say I can't cook?"

"…"

"_Dante!_"

"Well, from what you fed me, it kinda gave me that idea."

"Hey!"

Another flinch, "Listen, it's not all that bad." He went to assure her, "Not everyone has the skills, and babe, you just happen to fit into the 'not everyone' category. Unlike me, of course."

"_Oh-ho_," Lady laughed, looking quite amused now, "And this coming from a man who burns water?"

Before he could respond to the insult a new voice cut in, "You _burned_ water, Old Man?"

"Shut it, Kid, I was highly distracted at the time!" He glanced pointedly at Lady, who in turn, glanced pointedly away.

"Distracted or no, you shouldn't be able to burn water, Dante." Trish cut in.

"Yeah, well, what can I say," Dante shrugged, "I make the impossible possible."

"Yeah, and I guess burning water's now on that list." Nero laughed.

"_Quiet_, Kid!"

"Okay, so we're cooking. What're we making and who's making what?" Lady interrupted before things got violent.

The half-devil got up from his usual spot located at his desk and let out a languid stretch. "Well one thing's for certain, you're not making anything."

"_Excuse me?_" She turned a vehement glare to him.

"You heard me, babe," He met her gaze evenly; "Just leave the cooking to the pro."

"Alright, that's it, jackass!" She exclaimed jumping out of her spot on the living room sofa, "Looks like I'm going to have to put you in your place."

"Are you _challenging_ me, Lady?" he asked while crossing his arms over his well built chest.

"Damn straight." She retorted, mirroring his pose.

"Loser washes dishes."

"Fine."

"For a month."

She shrugged and countered, "Your hands."

They continued that way while the other two occupants of the room looked on, not sure what to do or say at the moment.

Finally, after what seemed more or less like an hour of sizing each other up, the two acted at the same time, grabbing their jackets off the coat rack (in which Dante made things more difficult for her by knocking hers to the floor) and heading to the door (wherein Lady made things more complex by tripping him on the way there…twice) and stopping to call on their partners in crime.

"Wait, what?" The she-devil asked, getting up from her comfortable perch on the same sofa Lady had been on anyway, "Why do I have to go?"

"Because you're the cause of this mess." Lady retorted without missing a beat. And with that motive, Trish had no choice than to comply.

Nero on the other hand, was a different case entirely, and didn't plan on going anywhere or doing anything with the older hunter whatsoever. Until, of course, he mentioned he would tell Kyrie he was being a difficult prick while she was away (leaving the prick part out, naturally). That had gotten him up off his ass in less than an instant.

All too soon, the two groups (now rivals) went to their separate vehicles of transportation to get what they were going to get so they could do…whatever it was they were going to do(?).

Unfortunately for them, they met up at the same store that was, luckily for them, unlucky for the workers, still open (in which Dante made things difficult for Lady and her follower by snagging the last stick of butter left in the entire store, and Lady returned the favor by crashing her cart into his and Nero's…multiple times). All in all, the store manager and his cohorts ended their day by cleaning up many different products from the aisles.

Finally after two or so hours of shopping for things that didn't even make sense, the rival crews went to their respective cooking domains. Dante and Nero: Devil May Cry, Lady and Trish: at her place.

-DeadTurkeysMakeForANiceMeal-

It had taken awhile but at last the two females had got a meal going with Trish's "Blueberry and Vanilla Cake" and Lady's "Biscuit Surprise." The surprise you ask?

They weren't biscuits.

"_Alright_, so what's next?"

"You got me, we used most of the stuff we bought. What do we have left?" Lady questioned.

"Well," The blond dug into the remaining bag of groceries that Dante had purchased for them (against his will) and named them off, "We have two cans of chicken broth, an apple, popcorn…frosting...a gravy packet, another apple, and…what the hell is that? Is that_ tofu?_" she cocked her head to the side, turning to her companion, "Why do we have _tofu?_"

Lady who had been in a state of distaste at the ingredients Trish had listed off, answered her friend, "No idea. Probably got those while crashing carts." She shook her ebony head of hair at the memory, "Look, the frosting, what kind is it?"

"Strawberry." she answered immediately.

"Ah, good enough," she shrugged, "That can go with the cake. Now as for the gravy…packet, mix it with, I don't know, one-fourth cup of water or something and put it in the microwave for a couple minutes. I'll cut the apples, bake them and mash the tofu. Where do you keep the seasonings?"

"Top left cabinet."

"Got it." She nodded her understanding, before turning back to the blond, "Oh, and make sure the bowl you use _isn't_ metal this time, Trish." She ordered and Trish grumbled on while she did what she was told.

An hour-and-a-half later, they were staring down a too watery plastic bowl of gravy in disdain. "Okay, so maybe we went a little overboard with the water." Trish scooped up a spoonful of the 'not supposed to be liquid' concoction and watched it 'plop' back into the bowl. "After all, it was just a _packet_ of gravy."

Her friend nodded her head in agreement, "Yeah, if you have any flour maybe we can do some stuff." She went over to the stove in which her tofu creation remained untested and untouched. _I'm definitely ditching the tofu_, she thought to herself then turned back to Trish, "I don't think the microwave can do anything else with it."

"I don't think anything can do much else with this." She looked on unsurely, "What would the flour do?"

"Thicken it."

Before she could ask more about that, she stopped when she caught a whiff of something _wrong_. It smelt like apples, blueberries, a hint of vanilla, and a smell she was all too familiar with, smoke. Not sure if she did really smell what she was because of the all around _wrongness_ of it, she couldn't help but ask, "You smell something?" In which the lady in question reacted much violently to what she had planned. With an enlargement of the eyes and the curse of "Shit!" she had the oven opened in an instant.

Which was a very bad idea now that she had the time to think about it.

Before she knew it, the kitchen was surrounded in a cloud of smoke, all she was tasting was smoke, and all she could hear was smoke, although, how you can hear smoke I have no idea, (maybe it was the smoke _alarm_, perhaps?) and the two were thrown into a very vicious coughing fit all the while getting the windows open and stuff out the oven and into the sink.

To both of their surprises, the biscuits (?) and the cake were fine; unfortunately, the same could not said for the apples. (RIP apples).

"Get the phone," Lady spoke when her coughing fit ceased and she could breathe normally again, "We're calling Nina."

-?-

"Dude, that's not her."

"Well, Kid, I'm telling you that it _is_."

"And I'm telling you it's _not_, Old Man."

"It is!"

"It is not!"

"Is!"

"Not!"

"Is!"

"Look, why would they put _Pocahontas_ on the cover of a _box of butter?_"

"I don't know," He cocked his head to the side and thought on that for minute before coming to the conclusion, "Maybe Disney owns them."

"…"

"…"

"You're an idiot." Nero shook his head in amazement at the amount of stupidity one person could be full of.

The Devil Hunter scoffed and crossed his arms, "That may be, but so are you."

The white haired teen rolled blue eyes, "Whatever. Anyway, what's next?"

The older man raised an eyebrow, clearly in question to what his junior had asked, "Aren't we done?"

"Nope. We still got this left." He dug into their shopping bag and pulled out a potato, a disposable fork, and a box of cereal.

"Well, we got a pie in the oven, and water on the stove for spaghetti, I say we're good." _Heh. We're so winning this thing_, He dusted his hands of none existent dirt but then turned back to Nero, "There wouldn't happen to be any strawberry frosting in there by any chance, would there?" The teen checked the bag once more then shook his head. He shrugged it off.

_CLANK! Clacka! Clank!_

He jumped at the unexpected noise but didn't show it. Turning to the cause of the noise, he came to find out it was a pot. "Dude, what's in that pot?"

Dante who had been off in La-la Land previously, approached the vessel warily, "Water."

"Water and what?" he asked, albeit shakily.

"Nothing." He answered, going up to the stove to check on what the hell was going on. Just when he was three seconds away from lifting the lid…

It exploded, which sent the two into two very unmanly screeches.

"_Holy shit_," Nero screamed. "It blew up!"

"Why does this keep happening?" Dante cursed in annoyance. Before they could go on cursing the paranormal for any longer, a new racket started up.

_BumBumBumpBumBump-p!_

"You hear that?" Dante asked.

"Hear what, Old Man?" Nero asked hurriedly, still trying to catch his breath from the last event.

"_Shhh_…"

_Bumpbum…bumpbump!_

"That."

He looked around nervously, "Where's it coming from?"

With one louder Bump! They could zero in on the source of the noise. And the two could only stare at one thing, _The oven._

Nero cautiously used his Devil Bringer to open the oven door and be as far away as he could at the same time. Unfortunately for him, it didn't matter where he stood, for whatever was in that oven had wanted out.

And out it got.

"_Holy…!_" Dante exclaimed.

"_It's a monster!_" Nero cried.

The thing that was assumed to be a chocolate-strawberry pie just an hour prior to this incident puffed up just a bit more…

…Before it exploded completely.

"_GAAAAAAAHHHH!_"

-I'llTryYourPoisonIfYouTryMine-

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

"I'm assuming you don't mean me nor my friend over here, so I'm just going to take a guess and say you're talking about the chow."

"Perceptive, as always, Lady."

"_Ooh_, that's a big word, Dante, just learned that today?"

He chuckled at the retort. "Funny. But you should save the jokes until after you see our stuff." He grinned cockily. "Show it, Kid." 'Kid' in turn grumbled, but did as told. "See it and weep, babe." He said smugly.

It was actually a nice sight to see, a golden-glazed baked turkey, perceptibly well done, a sweet potato pie that looked too good to be true, mashed potatoes, mashed to perfection, and a delicate pan of mouth watering cornbread. All in all, the food was just _too_ good.

"Cute." Lady commented dryly, ridding her sweater of any nonexistent lint before looking back up to meet the half-devil's ice colored orbs straight on. "You ordered that." She stated matter-of-factly.

Dante paused, clearly in shock on how she saw right through him, "Who told you that?" He asked in bewilderment.

"Other than the fact that you just did," she smirked as he cursed himself, "You left the take-out menu on the counter."

He cursed again but this time at the younger boy, "Damnit, Nero, I thought I told you to burn that!"

"Oh, my bad," He began sarcastically, "I was too busy picking dough and chocolate covered strawberries outta my hair to do it." The front doors to the Devil May Cry opening and shutting closed cut off any smart remark Dante would have made.

In strutted cool, calm, and collected eldest son of two who had been fortunate enough to be away from all the drama that day and who was going to continue to be kept out of that drama by avoiding all, but one, involved with it by keeping as far away as possible. Unless, of course, he was provoked.

"Hey, V." The younger of the twins greeted before turning back to business with his lady. Vergil hmm'ed in acknowledgement and soon disappeared behind a kitchen cabinet where he was later joined by Trish.

"You know what I think?" he asked, eyes turning on Lady, "I think Nina made this." He gestured to the green bean casserole and butter-flaked biscuits on the other side of the table.

"Yeah, that makes sense. It would explain why Patty's here." His accomplice agreed, gesturing to the little girl at his side. Said little girl, giggled his way amused at the sight of everything going on.

"I bet the only thing you made was that lopsided cake, that shitty lookin' water crap and…what're those supposed to be, biscuits…the hell?"

Lady huffed at the insult, "Well, at least something _we made_ is on this table, Dante. We win, now shut up."

"Like hell! I'm not washin' dishes for a month!"

Before she could retort to that, however, Patty, the only mediator available cut in, "Can't we forget about that right now, Lady, I'm hungry and the food's getting cold. Besides we can always get him to wash the dishes another way."

He scowled the curly haired girl's way, but kept quiet none-the-less.

"Now, let's say our thanks." She started, trying to bring up a cheerful atmosphere, "I'm thankful for this yummy food I'm about to eat! What about you, Lady?" she grinned up at said woman, who smiled at the attempt.

"Well, _I_ am thankful…" she trailed off and her smile became devious, "That Dante didn't cook this food."

"…Hey_._"

"Because we would've _died_ of food poisoning if he did!"

"Okay, I think you made your poi-"

"Because _Dante_ can't cook worth a damn!"

"Alright, that's it!" Was what he said before lobbing a chunk mashed potatoes her way.

-FoodFight!-

"Aren't you going to join in?"

The blue-clad man scoffed, obviously insulted at the inquiry, "I have no desire to get involved with things which are not of my concern." He raided the cupboard in search for the salt when he came in contact instead with an empty case of baking powder, he could've sworn it was full that morning. Shrugging it off as it wasn't worth his time, he continued on until he felt something splatter onto the back of his head. Undoubtedly a potato.

Calmly closing the cabinet shut, he turned slowly all the while unsheathing Yamato. "Now," he said to no one in particular, although Trish was listening intently, "It is my concern." And with a battle cry, he set out towards the table where the laughter cut and newfound screams began.


	4. Fireworks

_Fireworks_

_**Location:**__ Roof of Devil May Cry workplace; __**Time: **__11:53pm, New Years Eve_

"Alright. Now, pass me the blue one."

"Blue? Okay, here."

"…"

"What?"

"That's red."

"Oh, really? Didn't notice…Here you go. Blue"

"…"

"…"

Lady trained narrowed teal and russet eyes on her companion. "Also red."

"Huh," said companion huffed, "Wonder why that keeps happeni-Ow! What was that for?"

"You think I don't see you keep giving me the red ones?"

Dante rubbed at his now abused arm, "What're you talking about, babe? It's dark out, so, I can't see very we-"

"Dante, you got the moon and the freaking light coming off the shop's sign. On top of that, you got your unnaturally enhanced eyesight, so don't give me that!"

"Hey, my eyesight is not unna-"

"Don't change the subject!" she cut in.

"Okay, fine, so you got me." He admitted sheepishly, scratching at the back of his head, "I would think you were smart enough to take a hint-Ouch! Would you stop that?"

"I would stop if you stopped being an idiot!" She scowled.

The white haired half devil shook a fist threateningly, "Why, I oughtta…"

"_Yo! What're you two doing up there?_"

Standing up to walk to the edge of the roof where the shout had come from, he leaned over to respond, "What'd you think we're doin, kid? We're fixin the works."

The teenager crossed his arms over his chest, "You sure about that?" he asked.

Dante made a face. "The hell's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you two are taking your sweet time up there." He pointed accusingly to the older man and continued, "So you should hurry the hell up, old man!"

The red clad man sighed in mock disappointment while digging into the two side pockets of his trademark trench coat, "You know what I think? I think you're too damn impatient for your own good. So, why don't I just go ahead…" he pulled a lighter from the left and five small figures from the right, "and give you a little preview, hmmm?" Lighting the items up, he then tossed the small objects out of his hands where a series of little pops and crackles followed as they each hit the ground by the boy.

"What the hell?" Nero shouted over Dante's cackles of amusement as he watched him hop foot-to-foot to avoid the firecrackers, "You almost hit Kyrie!"

"You almost hit Kyri?" Lady came in from behind, clipping him on the back of his head, effectively ending his bouts of laughter, "What's wrong with you?"

"Oh come on, babe. It wasn't even near her."

"Doesn't matter," she chastised, "you shouldn't have thrown it anyway." She turned away from the man to lean over the edge of the rooftop, ignoring the hand that came around her arm to keep her steady in case she slipped, to speak the chestnut-haired female below. "You alright, Kyrie?" she asked.

The girl in question smiled up at the older woman above her and replied, "Yes, I'm fine. But Mr. Dante's right, it wasn't near me, Nero was just overreacting."

"Hey, I was not!" he pouted, immediately calming when she sent a pretty smile his way.

_Teddy bear_, he scoffed then turning towards Lady, "See, told you it didn't touch her. Now, I think this little lady owes me an apology."

The huntress raised an ebony brow before disregarding him completely to once again lean over the edge to call out to the blond girl who giggled at the adults' antics in amusement, "Hey, Patty!"

The girl turned at her name, "Yes, Lady?"

"How much time do we have left?"

She looked to her spankin new pink colored Tweedy Bird wrist watch generously (forced to) given to her the week before, "Five minutes!" she answered.

"Just five? Shit." she sucked her teeth in disdain, "Dante, you dummy, this is all your fault!"

"My fault? How do you figure that?"

"If you would just pass me the freaking blue one, we would've been done by now!"

He hmph'ed, crossing arms over his chest, "It's not my fault if I find blue distasteful. If you want a good color, you use red, blue is for losers."

Lady gave him a short look, "You really put a lot of thought into that didn't you?"

"Yeah, well, I had some time on my hands…"

"He got that from me." Vergil said.

She nodded her agreement to the elder twin. "Kind of figured that when he used 'distasteful'."

"Hey! I can use big words!" Dante protested.

"_Sure_ you can, big guy." She pat him on the shoulder in some form of consolation, "Now come on, we only have five-"

"Three!" Patty cut in.

"Three? Yeah, we need to get this done _now._"

"Aw, come now, babe, what's the rush? We should take our ti-"

"Do you want me to kick you off this roof?" The woman questioned threateningly.

"No, ma'am."

"Then let's go!"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And make it snappy!" Nero ordered.

"How about you stay down there and protect your little girlfriend from the cold, Nero?" he dodged to the left to evade being hit by the white sphere of snow the teenager charitably flung at him.

"Hey!" Lady griped when she found that it was too close to her head for comfort.

"Kid! You almost hit Lady with that pitiful excuse of a snowball of yours. Keep this up and I'll be sure to give you a personal lesso-Hey! _Woah_, babe, if you wanted in my pants so bad, all you had to do was-oof!" he cut off as he caught an elbow to the chest, watching as the lady flinched from the blow as well. _Looks like it hurt her just as much_, he thought with some satisfaction as he soothed his aching ribcage.

She held her hand out rubbing at her elbow with the other, "The lighter."

"Wha…?"

"Give me the lighter."

He grumbled doing as she so nicely asked of him, "Fine…So demanding…"

"Time!"

"Forty-seven seconds, and counting!" Patty responded.

"Alright…" She went away to put the finishing touches on her newfound master piece, coming back to wrap an arm around his waist. "Take us down." She ordered.

He smirked cockily down at her. "How 'bout I take you" -a foot to the shin- "ah!"

"Now!"

"Okay, okay." He positioned his hands on her hips to hold her close.

She turned sharp eyes to him. "Hands _up._"

He rolled his ice colored blue ones, "Sure, whatever." And with that, he wrapped one arm around her waist, the other at her back, he ignored her objections as they abruptly ceased when he leapt off the building only to hit the gravel four seconds later.

As tense as she was during the free-fall, Lady didn't notice they had hit the ground until some moments later. In which case it took all the longer for her to come to the realization that she had somehow, in the four seconds, put her second arm around her dear cohort's neck to hold on to dear life. That dear cohort didn't make matters any better. He should've learned by now his stupid come-ons weren't any type of funny.

With an unwanted blush and a huff, she stomped away en route to the other present members of the group where Patty awaited her with open arms and that ever present grin on her face. She pat the shorter girl on her head and at once frowned when she felt undesirable company place himself beside her.

"About damn time." The youngest male of them was, of course, the first to comment, "I know you're _old_, old man, but I didn't think it would take you forty minutes to put a couple fireworks together."

"Oh, shut up."

"As much time and effort, on Lady's part, as you took, this better turn out good." Trish was next to put in.

His older brother nodded in agreement. "Indeed."

"Put a sock in it."

"Ooh!" Patty's chipper voice cut through their argument enthusiastically, "Time for the countdown! Ten!"

"Nine!" The black leather clad she devil cried, just as passionate.

"What comes after nine?" The younger son of Sparda asked.

Nero took a moment to respond, "Ten."

"No the other way-counting down?"

He was interrupted by Kyrie's eager cry of, "Seven!"

"No, that's not right." Dante scratched at his chin's stubble in consideration, "I'm pretty sure it's eight."

"Then why would you ask?"

"Five!"

"Huh, already?"

"Why're Patty, Trish, and Kyrie the only ones counting?"

"Because the rest of you don't know your alphabet!"

"Oh, that's rich, coming from you! And I'm pretty sure we're dealing with numbers, not words."

"Oh my God." Lady groaned, smacking her forehead in the process, "I'm stuck with a bunch of idiots."

"Hey, that's not nice!"

"I'm not a nice person."

"Glad you finally admitted that to yourself."

"Shut up, Vergil!"

"Three!"

"Why're you skipping numbers?"

"We're not skipping numbers, you're just missing them!" The curly blond explained matter-of-factly.

"Two!"

"Ooh, I know what comes after this! Zer-"

"One!"

"What?"

"_Happy new year!_"

"Happy-hey! We're not in sync at all!" Dante complained.

"Good, that means we are above your stupidity." Vergil retorted dully.

"Shut up!"

"Wow, Vergil." Lady cut in, "Not even a minute into the new year and you've already failed your resolution."

"Hn."

"A resolution, huh?" His brother asked in interest, "What was it?"

"To not put people down." She answered.

"Ha!" he chortled, "Why would you even try?"

"I am now questioning myself as to why I would attempt such a thing."

"It was Trish, wasn't it?"

"Damn straight it was me!" She answered proudly somewhere to the far right of them.

"Now that that mystery is taken care of, how about we solve another?" The DB user cut in.

"Like what?"

"Like what, you ask? Hmm, like the mystery of why the _freaking fireworks aren't going off?_"

"Damnit," Dante cursed, "My hard work-"

"Oh puh-_lease_," The she-devil rolled her light azure eyes at his dramatics, "you didn't even do anything!"

"-what went wrong?" he continued, not minding her.

"Snowball." The blue attired half devil stated.

"What?"

"It was the snowball."

"Nero…" Kyrie very wisely backed away when she heard the familiar sound of a gun being removed from its holster.

"Wait! Now just hold on a sec, Lady, I'm pretty sure it wasn't my fault!"

"Oh? And how do you guess that?" she asked while she continued to approach him, gun still un-holstered.

He scratched the back of his head nervously, not able to come up with a good excuse, "Uh…"

_Fwooooo!_

"Yay! They work!" Patty cheered, happy that there would be no bullets flying.

"Ooh, look at the pattern." Trish commented, "Is that a _star_ pattern?" she asked, eyes wide in awe.

"Eh, it supposed to be a snowflake," Lady shrugged, "but what the hell, let's go with that."

"Woo!" Dante hailed, grabbing Lady up in a bear hug, "This is what you get with good teamwork!"

"Teamwork my ass! All you did was pass, and you couldn't even do that right!"

"Ouch. So harsh."

"Get over it." She deadpanned.

"Hey, guys…"

"What is it, Patty?" The duo turned to her in question.

"They didn't explode."

"What?" They all looked up in query.

"They're coming-they're coming back down!" she hid herself behind the huntress' legs.

"Oh!" Trish clapped, "They finally blew up!"

"_Yeah_….but it's _too_ close-the sparks, the freaking sparks! If those hit us, we're toast-literally!" Nero shouted.

"Haha! Good one, kid!" Dante laughed.

"I know, right?" he replied, still shouting.

"Shut up, the both of you!" Trish complained enjoying the firework's explosion in a much better level of 3-D as she could get. She wished she had some popcorn with her.

"Oh my God, it's like a preview of 2012!" She heard someone call out, most likely Dante, _The Drama Queen._

"I'm still trying to figure out why the hell we're still standing here?" Lady mumbled to herself, commencing to push the two youngest females of the bunch towards the shop, "Do you really not get it?" she called out to the rest of her idiotic friends, "We need to get out of here!"

Vergil, who had been standing there the whole time, hands casually tucked in pockets and not at all phased by whatever catastrophe befalling them from above spoke in his normal-annoying, in Lady's opinion-collected voice, "Too late."

"Wha…?" She looked up just in time to see the catalysts descend upon there oh-so merry little assembly.

"Oh shit."


	5. Complication

_Complication_

There was a reason why whenever Lady went to the store she usually went by her lonesome. Sure her companion was always welcome to join her, but she was pretty certain Dante was one of those people that would go from the first aisle to the last and then back again. Lady, on the other hand, opted for making a list beforehand so that she was in and out of the store in record time. Therefore, the demon huntress typically shopped when Dante was preoccupied with one thing or another.

Unfortunately this shopping trip was unlike her previous ones. She was hungry and she refused to consume another slice of everything-on-it-except-olives pizza. In the mix-up of her, as her white-haired partner liked to dub it, "bitching and moaning", he reluctantly agreed to accompany her (Lady, in no shape or form requested his assistance) to the store.

And so after an hour-and-a-half of travel-five o' clock traffic sucked-the duo arrived at the nearest _Stop & Shop_ where they spent the next two or so hours debating on what to buy. So far, Lady had successfully crossed her first four intended items off the list but had to substitute her daily dose of green apples for strawberries and had to meet him halfway for cereal.

Instead of her traditional store brand box of_Bunches of Honey Oats_ he had tried (and failed) to talk her into _Cinnamon Toasty Crunches_. With a plea like his, "But, _babe_, it's the taste you can see," it was almost too easy for her "You won't be seeing much of anything once it's in your mouth." counter. His ridiculous argument and the fact that the damn cereal gave her a stomachache every time she ate it was reason enough for her not to place the breakfast cereal into their metal-caged cart. As an alternative, they settled for the blue cardboard contained _Frosty Flakes _even though the cereal box's cheesy as hell, scarf donning polar bear mascot did make them laugh when they stared at it for too long.

Fortunately, that little tiff was settled and only a few more select things were left. Hopefully, that wouldn't take another thirty minutes to get. And it wouldn't take long if things continued to go as they had been the last three aisles (turned out she was right on the "aisle to aisle and back again" assumption about him), as they went through without a problem.

Alas, that was three aisles ago. Three aisles ago Lady still had control of the precious shopping cart and three aisles ago, there were no freezers containing frozen goods. At first, the black-haired female thought nothing of it. After all, her produce of frozen vegetables was still on her list as unmarked -"And will stay unmarked," Dante had commented-so it was already a plan to explore said lane.

It wasn't until she was backpedaling a few feet that she noticed her friend had stopped walking and instead of following right behind her, like he was _supposed_ to be doing, he was staring at something through the transparent glass freezer door intently. Lady was pretty damn sure what that something probably was, but decided she had to go on and check it out, just for the hell of it.

As much as she relished in the fact of being right a great majority of the time, it got tiresome at times, _especially_ at times when the subject covered black, papered cartons containing hundreds of calories of cold stuff-_yummy_ stuff-but cold all the same. And since he had the faster metabolism out of the two and could burn off those calories without even trying, it was only fair that she refused him.

"Oh, _come on_, babe," he said in that way of attempting to acquire something he desired, "_Live a little._"

She pulled down the left sleeve of her plum-colored hoodie over her hand. Despite the warm spring temperature outside, the frigid air circulating inside from the store's A.C. made it chilly in the building, especially in the section where they were standing.

With a tired groan, the heterochromatic-eyed girl shook her head, "We're here to get you _off_ the junk food, Dante." One quick glance at their groceries and she found she wasn't doing a good job of that.

Seemed like Dante was doing a great job at sneaking things in though.

"That's not true," he turned so that now she was subject of focus, "We're here because you're hungry."

She pursed her lips as she considered that and found him to be right (for once), so she couldn't really argue that. Still, she would be damned if she let him in on that. "Alright, fine, you got me there. But," she added when she saw he was about to argue, "we _are_ here for you too." The look he gave her told her her false sincerity wasn't at all convincing.

Not wanting to continue with the current topic of conversation, she settled herself at the front of the cart and gave it a tug to get them going, Lady cursed her platinum-haired companion when he refused to budge. "Dante!" she could feel her previously dormant annoyance start to set in, she was starving damn it!

"But, _babe_," he wasn't aware of just how strong an urge his female associate fought to keep from shoving the nearest thing, which just so happened to be a jar of peanut butter, down his throat to get him to shut up, "I want it."

"Are you going to have a tantrum?" She seriously wouldn't put it pass him.

He shrugged. "Maybe."

"And how old are you?" Of the two years she'd known Dante, it never ceased to amaze her on just how childish he could really be.

"Not old enough to drink legally, I'll tell you that much," he mumbled under his breath. The devil-hunter looked up, suddenly inspired, "My birthday's tomorrow."

She rolled her eyes at that. "Liar. Your birthday was in February."

He deflated, then perked right back up again, "Alright, then, your birthday."

"My birthday was last month." She twirled the keychain ring in her right hand around her pointer finger, bored with where she assumed the conversation to be going.

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Instead of giving up, like she had so futilely hoped he would, he settled his cotton-clad arms on the top metal bar of the cart and leaned toward her, mouth set in a devilish smirk, "You're of age now." He wiggled pale brows.

Lady sighed as she looked over his shoulder while attempting to think of a way to convince her male companion to quit being an idiotic idiot and unintentionally caught the eyes of a pretty looking red-head that had been previously eyeing said male.

This wasn't the first time she had caught some woman staring, since the pair had reached the parking lot, he had been on the receiving end of those ravenous stares. And while he had remained oblivious to them (was he?), she had no choice but to remain aware. It was safe to assume that Lady wasn't a fan of being glowered upon, and even though she had a pretty damn good evil eye herself, the unwanted attention made her slightly uncomfortable.

Lady wondered off-handedly on how a Dante dressed in a gray, hooded sweater over a simple black t-shirt (he wasn't half-naked, she was proud to announce), and casual jeans could still be considered eye candy. A nudge against her hip from the front brought her back to the situation at hand. She fought down a blush because she had forgotten he was there and as she looked back to find his unnatural mix of ice blue-gray eyes boring into her own, was most likely watching her the whole time.

"Huh?" she prayed he wasn't keeping some unknown special abilities from her and was able to read her mind.

"I said, are you alright? You were frowning."

_Was I? _She didn't even notice. "I'm fine." Another quick glance over his shoulder told her the red-head was gone. Her gaze snapped back to his when she realized he had said something and she had, once again, missed it.

"I _said_," he started, laughter lighting his face, "I prefer dark-haired woman."

She grimaced when she realized that he had indeed been watching her and she reached up to tug a stubborn strand of her own dark-colored hair behind an ear. Lady glanced back up at him, "Well, that's good," she said, feigning indifference, "because I'm pretty sure I saw a nice looking brunette eyeing you back in aisle four."

She watched as her partner tried-and failed miserably-to keep away all former amusement as he delivered his next statement, "Sorry about that, I should've been more specific," he said, leaning more toward her than he was before as he continued, "When I said dark, I meant bla-"

"Uh-huh," Lady was sure she would've laughed. Even if they both found the whole thing funny, his words still held, to some extent, true. She swallowed, now finding her throat to be some-what dry while avoiding all eye-contact with his person altogether. Lady went to the front of the cart and elbowed him out of the way, making sure to keep contact as minimum as possible, and started forward into a different section of the store.

Fortunately, Dante noticed this change immediately and was back to trying to obtain the object of his affection while annoying her in the process. Unfortunately for Lady, he was doing better at the latter than the former. "_Come off it_, Dante." She snapped from over her shoulder. The ebony-haired beauty watched as he sighed dejectedly and with one last longing (dramatic) look at the black carton of strawberry-flavored ice cream, followed her out of one cold aisle into the next.

…_._

"Which one do you want?" In one hand Lady held a bag of frozen pre-cooked stir-fry, in the other, the store bought version of his favorite kind of pizza. And before you ask, no, she was _totally_ not trying to win him back after denying him that ice cream he so deeply wanted. He could pretend to mope all he wanted to, she wouldn't fall for it.

It had taken him a moment-or three, much to her displeasure-to respond, but when he finally did, he pointed to the choice in the hand on the left: The stir-fry. With a brief suck of her teeth, she dumped both articles into the cart. Lady briefly thought, as she watched him study the shop's tan and white checkered linoleum floor with the utmost interest that maybe his act of depression wasn't an act at all. In actuality, he really did look dejected.

She scoffed to herself at that, if you asked her, _Brat_ would be the more accurate term to describe him at the moment.

_But then again_, now that she thought about it, he _was_ always giving her stuff. And the seventeen percent of the time he did, he always gave it willingly. Even if that other eighty-three percent…

Was that not how friendship worked? He gave her a place to live, food to eat (albeit crappy), and helped with the exterminating of demons, even though he was half one himself. And, sure, she did loan him money when bills were too much or he didn't have enough for his precious pizza and strawberry sundaes, and she did buy him tomato juice on occasion, but all that seemed a bit petty compared to all the things he'd done for her.

So maybe giving him what he wanted _this time_ wouldn't be such a big deal. It…it wasn't like she would be considered a _pushover_ or anything; she was the furthest thing from a pushover anyone could get. In fact, if anyone was a pushover, he was.

The fact that they had more than enough money this time around didn't hurt either (business had been booming recently), plus it _was_ on a two for five deal…

Lady gave a heavy sigh through her nose, hoping she wouldn't regret this. "Hey," She cursed when he was reluctant to respond and tugged on a sleeve of his sweater to get his attention off the floor and on her. After all, she was doing this for his benefit. "_Dante._"

She had to squint her bi-colored eyes to make certain she was seeing right when she saw his lips purse in what she was damn sure was a pout, and was only made a believer as she observed the following action of his black sneaker-clad foot scuff the floor they were currently standing on. The demon-huntress was positive that if her teeth weren't clenched so tightly in pure aggravation, like they were currently, her jaw would have dropped open in disbelief upon seeing him raise his blue eyes through the curtain of white resting against his forehead to complete, what she would now dub, his "baby face."

In the back of her mind, Lady wondered if this was how he had gotten what he wanted back when he was a child. And if she hadn't already decided to let him get his dumb ice-cream, this face would have most likely done her in.

Ignoring the urge to shoot him in the head in front of so many witnesses, she brushed her hands against denim clad thighs to give her something to do with her hands before turning back to him with a resigned sigh and a roll of eyes, an almost fond smile smoothing the lines of her earlier aggravation from her visage, "Go get your stupid ice-cream."

And just like that Baby Face was gone only to be replaced by his typical Dante-y self she knew and lov-wanted to shoot in the face, complete with shit-eating grin and mischievous eyes.

Unfortunately she couldn't read his eyes fast enough and didn't have time to react as she was suddenly swept up into a nearly bone crushing bear hug with the Devil-Hunter laughing in her ear the while. More so unprepared was she when she felt something soft and warm press firmly onto the skin of the left side of her face in what she had come to realize was a well-placed kiss to the cheek.

The half-demon let go to dodge what would possibly be a two minutes of bruising to the shin. Still laughing, he tossed an amused, "Thanks, babe!" over his shoulder and strode back down to the lane the duo had previously passed some ten minutes ago, leaving the flustered female behind.

"Stupid brat," Lady had muttered, scowling as she scrubbed heatedly at the contaminated skin of her face with the sleeve of her sweater and disregarding the rush of heat that had reached across to _both_ of her cheeks, "…so complicated."


	6. Secret Santa

**A/N:** Yes, I am aware Christmas was a little over a month ago, but would you really rather me update this 11 months from now? Reason for my suckiness is at the bottom.

PIC stands for Partner in Crime, for anyone that doesn't know. Enjoy!

* * *

_Secret Santa_

"Why the hell am I here?"

Dante _really_ should've learned by now that whenever Trish mentioned something about wanting to do something for the current holiday, that shit was most likely going to go down. Which was the reason why he usually tried to steer clear from whenever the words "Hey, -insert holiday here('s)- today, guys!" or something to that extent, came out of her mouth.

He also should've learned, that whenever he immediately shot down whatever idea she had in mind, that Lady was going to get involved. That, in itself, was enough to get him to open up his big trap, say something very stupid, have her respond to whatever stupid thing he said, say _something else _stupid, and when he was done saying that, had unintentionally found that he had more than likely agreed to do whatever Trish had originally wanted to do.

The blonde she-devil truly had some of the worst ideas anyone could ever come up with. Okay, maybe not _the_ worst, Dante would admit that he took the cake for that, but if it had him out in seventeen-degree weather, in a place crammed full with hundreds of people, it had to be pretty freaking bad. This only begged the question:

"Why the hell am I here?"

"You are here because you chose to be, Dante."

And then there's Vergil, for when it came to Trish, there really was no use in trying to get out of her plans. For Lady, it was different; the females of the group had no choice but to stick together. His brother, on the other hand, was whipped, even if he refused to admit it.

And he would never have to admit it.

Because nobody would ask.

Ever.

But enough about that. You're all probably wondering why Dante was hanging around a shopping center, surrounded by hundreds of last-minute shoppers that, mind you, were carrying all various types of perfumes and colognes that were making his head hurt and his attitude no better, while the stores nearest him were playing stupid crappy Christmas techno music (and he swore to whatever divine spirit out there that Vergil, cold, stoic, attempted destroyer of the world, _Vergil_, was _humming_ along to them), that he just might not be getting out of his head anytime soon, when it was obvious the mall was the last place the devil hunter would want to be on Christmas Eve.

This is how it went down(hill).

_23 Hours Earlier_

Everything was going right for once. In a random act of cooperation, the heater was actually working. And in a rare moment of charity-because that's what Lady would call it- she allowed Dante to rest his head on her lap, made a bonus since because of the warmth of the shop, she was wearing a plain white shirt and cotton dessert imprinted shorts that went a little higher than mid-thigh. Shorts short enough that if he moved his head _just so_-

_Smack!_

"Ouch."

Okay, so maybe that wouldn't work.

On the other end of the faded crimson sofa, Trish sat with crossed legs, tapping a random beat on the boot-clad foot Dante had stretched on her lap while staring off into space, thinking about…something. If he wasn't too busy being a pervert, he would have noticed the first sign. Nothing good ever came about when the she-demon had time to think.

Residing on the couch vertical to theirs, Vergil and Patty were actively discussing one of the many books she brought over for him to read. This book-the fourth of six books so far -regarding lucky charms, a megalomaniac pixie, and gold or something of the sort. Seated on the floor, the chestnut-haired female of the group was getting her hair brushed by said talkative blonde, giving her thoughts about parts of the book when asked, but otherwise watching things explode on television.

Overall, things were looking serene in the usual destructive and exceedingly violent members of Devil May Cry.

"Hey,"

He should've known it wouldn't last.

"Christmas is in two days, guys."

"Them's fightin words," Dante, who previously had his eyes shut with the sounds of an epic action-packed ass whooping in progress and things blowing up on the TV set as background music to his ears, glared up at her. "Remember the last time you said shit like that."

"What happened last time?" She had the nerve to feign ignorance, the bitch.

Alongside the demoness, her ebony-haired sometimes PIC decided to speak out, "Last year, Thanksgiving," Then she sighed dreamily and stared off into space like it was a good memory she was reminiscing, "That was fun. What do you have in mind now?"

He did not like where this was going. "_Don't _encourage h-"

"Quit it! It's not like you did the dishes like you were supposed to anyway!"

"It wasn't like there were any dishes left!"

"Oh, yeah," behind the group, the white haired teen (he knew there was someone he was forgetting) spoke up, "Good times."

"Maybe for you," Nero wasn't the one who got a plate broke off of his head. He rubbed the back of his cranium in memory. It was like after Vergil joined in, every action that took place then on became about survival. A quick glance to said teen's position at his desk in his chair, feet propped up and looking through one of his weapon magazines, reminiscent of what he usually did, served to piss him off. After all, it was the teen that threw the freakin potato at his twin's head. "Get up from there, that's the King's throne. Only the King gets to sit there."

"S'why I'm sitting here, old man." When the DB user smirked, an infuriating imitation of his own devilish one, he felt his left eye give a violent twitch. That was never a good sign.

Fortunately for him, Kyrie decided to act as his own personal guardian angel and changed the subject. Unlike the rest of them, she was the only one not present that day, the lucky girl, "Did anyone eat any of the food?"

"Biscuits were nice." Dante commented.

"Which ones?" Lady questioned.

The Devil Hunter spared her a glance before he answered, "The ones that weren't hard-" He broke off into a cough. Apparently he wasn't expecting that blow to the chest.

"Screw you!"

"Screw you for making 'em! The hell..." Dante trailed off with a pout, rubbing the abused part of his chest. Sheesh, he was only telling the truth, wasn't his fault her cooking skills were off. He wouldn't say that out loud though, since he didn't want to hurt her feelings and such…and since her elbow did kind of hurt…

"The cake was good." Vergil, silent up until this point in the conversation, added.

Dante grimaced, "You mean that lopsided waste of strawberry-"

"Wait," Lady held up a hand to hold off any more input, negative or otherwise, her head cocked in uncertainty of what she just came to a conclusion with, "Didn't that cake fall on the floor?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

When all bore witness to narrowed-eyed Vergil, slowly but surely, unsheathing Yamato (when'd that get there?), obviously daring anyone to speak their minds because now it seemed as though he was in the mood to slaughter whatever he deemed in his (self-proclaimed) righteous mind was appropriate, everyone-sans Trish, for she was still thinking- decided to do the smart thing and keep quiet.

"Uh…"

Well, except for Patty, the brave soul,

"Did you-?"

"I got it!"

Thankfully this time Trish decided to open her mouth, it saved a life…

"Let's do a Secret Santa!"

…and only caused further grief to his.

"Damn it."

_Back to the Present_

After everyone picked a name out of some random hat-that must've came from out of Patty's old collection or something- and after a brief altercation, in which Kyrie used her quiet charm to seduce Nero into agreeing and Dante said something stupid to trigger Vergil's killer instinct, it was decided that they would go out to pick their designated person's gift the next day.

Now he was stuck having to buy a present for his brother, of all people. It didn't make matters any better that he had just tried to kill him the previous day and, on top of everything else, had annoyed him a moment ago…

Speaking of his douche brother, he seemed to have gone missing. No, that was wrong. Dante appeared to be the one that wandered off. A quick check of his surroundings found him in what he believed to be a retail store. Another check only confirmed his suspicions that yes, he did in fact have a beige colored bag draped around his wrist, which was strange since he didn't remember purchasing anything.

"Huh." Weird what you could get done during a flashback. With a carefree shrug of broad shoulders, Dante was on his way to figuring out just where the hell his feet carried him off to and hopefully find somebody he knew. Thankfully he didn't have long to look.

Of course he would find _her_ in the jewelry section.

So into trinkets and charms the glass casing had on display, she didn't notice anyone was behind her until there were two red cotton clad arms by her sides and she was pressed up against a chest, sturdy and familiar, effectively pinning her to the display case she was previously engrossed with.

"I take it that you're done." For how stiff she felt pressed up against him, she sure did sound calm.

"You heard me?" He tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

She chuckled under her breath, a soft sound he barely caught, and he knew he didn't do a good job of that, "Contrary to what you believe, you're not as subtle as you think you are."

"Pity." He decided to rest his chin on her shoulder when he felt her relax against him, "Thought you were with the girls."

"Was," she shrugged, "We had a conflict of interest and decided to go our separate ways."

He snorted. Leave it to her to make it sound like they broke-up. "Patty went with Trish?" That was weird; usually the blonde was literally attached to the huntress' hip. There could only be one explanation for this, "She bribed her, didn't she?"

"Of course she did," She huffed, like the answer should've been obvious, "This is Trish we're talking about, she has no shame. But enough about that," she waved it off, leaning over the glass case to better coo over the previous object of her affection. Dante had to take a step back to avoid her pressing up against parts of him he would rather her not press against…Well, in public anyway.

"Isn't she pretty," 'She' being a ruby and diamond pendant type necklace in what he knew was 14k white gold, he only knew this because there was a label right below the item saying so. This design was simple compared to her preferred expensive taste but it would still look nice on her. He told her this.

When he noticed her shoulders stiffen suddenly and she turned half a second later and turned to look at him, the first time since the conversation started, with suspiciously innocent eyes, he knew that was a mistake.

"Dan-"

"No."

"Bu-"

"_Nope_."

"You don't even kno-"

"You're gonna ask-no _tell_ me, to buy that for you," the space created from a moment ago was now nonexistent when he stepped up to put his forehead against hers in a show of mock sympathy, "I'm not buying it."

She gave an unintelligible noise from the back the of her throat and pushed off his forehead to settle her weight on the glass behind her, crossing arms under an ample bosom and staring somewhere over his left shoulder in a sure gesture that she was now ignoring his existence.

The half-devil stood straight, stuffing calloused hands in the pockets of dark jeans in indifference, "Don't know why you're so mad, you have enough stuff." He nodded to the several colorful bags residing on the floor by her feet.

"It's never enough." Her eyes flashed in annoyance but she still refused to look at him.

He snorted at that, "Spoken like a true brat."

That earned him a kick.

Cursing under his breath while nursing a newly bruised shin, steely-blue eyes glanced up through parted bangs to the irritated beauty standing just an arm's length away. Dante had always loved this side of her. Sure he could do without her violent tendencies that more than not left him with a bullet to the head or a bruise somewhere on his person, but it was more than worth it just to see her usually teal eye flash green, and her russet, red- call him a masochist if you would. He was also sure she wasn't aware of the angry flush painted across her cheeks, or how her lips pursed out in a pout…rose colored lips that looked oh so delectable…kissable…

Maybe they could come to some sort of agreement, that is, if she really wanted the necklace as much as she let on.

"You know-"

"Hey look, it's Santa!"

"Fuck you." God, _damnit_, did she have the worst timing. He muttered another round of curses under his breath for his horrible luck and one more when Lady kicked him again.

"Watch your mouth, there's young ears around." She gestured to a brunette child, probably no more than eight, picking through a clothing rack with what looked to be her older sister, about twenty or so feet away. She paused, _Speaking of young ears,_ "Where's Patty?"

The she-demon in question flipped a golden lock of hair over her shoulder before taking a look behind her, only to find nobody there, "Guess she wandered off." With a casual shrug of her shoulders, she went back to searching a rack of belts a ways from the couple.

"You bitch," Lady snarled. Dante shot his hand out to grab one of her own when she took a threatening step Trish's way, "You had the nerve to bribe her and then you can't even watch her to make sure she didn't wander off? I should kick your ass!" It didn't help that she still hadn't cooled down from her earlier irritation, Trish's casualness to losing the girl was just adding to the problem.

Trish brushed the comment off, "You worry too much. Patty's a big girl, she'll show up when she's ready," she stated matter-of-factly and then glanced over said worrywart's shoulder, "Like so."

"Wha-" was as far as Lady got before something barreled into her back. If Dante didn't have a hold of her, the huntress was sure she would have ended up in a heap on the floor from the force of it.

"Lady!" This, accompanied with a set of high-pitched giggles, concluded that it was not a 'something' and was actually a 'someone' that had just rushed her. You didn't need to be a rocket scientist to know who it had to be. There were only two people, both female, that could do this and get away with it unscathed. And since one was currently on a date with a white-haired punk, the answer was obvious.

"Did you have fun?" Lady sighed and lifted her unoccupied arm so the blonde could come forward, a variety of paper bags crinkling in her wake. The blonde nodded in response and ducked under the woman's arm, wrapping one of hers around her idol and lifting the other to show off the goodies she got when shopping with Trish, going into an overly detailed explanation of the expedition. Seeing as how the danger had passed, he dropped her hand and went back a step, as not to get dragged into the conversation, only to bump into a passerby.

"Sor-Oh. It's just you." Catching sight of frosty blue eyes glaring back at him, he swallowed any apology he would have given if it had been an innocent. Said cold eyes narrowed further at the disrespect before using more force than necessary to shoulder his younger sibling to the side, causing him to stumble a step before getting his bearings. "Bastard," he hissed at his brother's retreating form and watched him stand by the busty blonde that seemed to have wandered over while no one was paying attention.

"Is everyone done?" Lady, who had finished listening to Patty's shopping tale, inquired.

Looking up from where she was previously admiring a pair of blue topaz earrings, Trish responded, "We were going to go to the Food Court before we left."

Lady sighed, resting her chin on a head of curly blonde, "Well hurry up, the mall closes at six today."

"Does it?" the lightning wielder settled a hand on her hip, the other tapping a random beat on the glass before her, "What time is it now?" She directed the question half-devil across from her, who in turn shrugged. Rolling azure eyes skyward in exasperation, she muttered something about him needing a watch and raised an amused brow when Lady glared at her.

"It's 4:21pm." Patty, the only one with a watch, said.

With one last glance at Lady, which she didn't catch since she was busy inspecting the pink wristwatch on Patty, the she-demon went on her way, Vergil beside her, keeping up easily with her long stride.

"Bring me back a pizza while you're at it!" Dante called after them. A two fingered salute from Trish let him know she got the message.

"Is this the one Dante gave you last year?"

Turning his gaze back to the two females before him, he watched as the girl gave a nod in response, looking up at the older woman in question.

"It's still in good condition," she dropped the girl's hand, patting her on the head, "Go pick something out."

"Really, Lady!" When the younger girl gasped in excitement gazing at the older woman in a state of awe, Dante groaned. And here he thought they were done for the day.

"You take care of your things, that deserves a reward," Lady took the bags in Patty's hands into her own and gave her a little push, "Go now, before we have to leave." Giving a quick hug that momentarily knocked the breath out of the woman, the blonde skipped off on her way-to who knew where- to pick out something that would most likely be pink, girly, and/or expensive.

"You spoil that girl."

Taking a brief look over her shoulder to the red sweater wearing half-man leaning one side on the glass display watching her, she gave a shrug before turning back around, "She's been through a lot," staring off in the direction Patty had disappeared off to, she continued, "She deserves it."

"You've been through a lot." He glanced at the pendant necklace she had been admiring earlier before going back to watching her.

She gave a quick quirk of the lips that he didn't miss, "That's why I have you."

The half-devil snorted, rubbing the back of his neck in discomfort and looking elsewhere, "I still say I have better stuff to spend my money on." He joked.

"And I still say you don't." She finally turned around to face him, gracing him with a rare full blown smile on her lips as she held the recently acquired bags out for him to take. He took them without question, but still lifted a pale brow, wondering about her intentions. She ignored the look and started off in the direction Patty had taken. "Watch my stuff."

He rolled his eyes, "Yes, Master."

"And no peeking."

"Yes, Master."

"You better stop," she gave him a quick over-the-shoulder grin, "I could get used to that."

Dante scoffed, "I bet you would." He muttered under his breath. She either heard him or she knew he would say something along the lines because she flipped him off right after that comment.

Making sure she was out of sight and wouldn't be coming back for awhile, he turned to call the salesclerk over. The graying man was either in the holiday spirit, was having a good day, or had just witnessed everything that transpired at the front of his booth in the last ten or so minutes because he was in an overly good mood.

Dante, with his horrible luck, was willing to bet it was the last one.

"Have you found what you were looking for, sir?" The man asked with a smile. His smile looked more on the amused side than professionally pleasant like other salesclerks he had come across.

"Yeah," Dante answered, his own smirk pulling at one corner of his mouth, he went to point at the ruby and diamond necklace but decided to change direction at the last second and pointed at another piece of jewelry, Lady wouldn't be expecting it, "That one. Size seven."

x-Merry-Merry-x

_CRASH!_

"DANTE!"

_SLASH!"_

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

"Vergil, damnit, calm down!" Moving Rebellion off to the side, he sent a kick to his would be murderer's side. Unfortunately, Vergil recovered faster than expected and sent his fist to his brother's jaw, connecting with a resounding _crack! _"_Shit!_" Gritting his teeth through the pain, he set his jaw back in place. "Would you lay off? It's just a scarf!" He would have to keep in mind that buying something during flashbacks could prove to be fatal.

Jumping back to put some distance to plan for his next attack, Vergil scoffed, "Just a scarf?" Pointing the tip of his blade to the crumpled heap of cloth where it still lay after the half-devil so disrespectfully tossed it, he continued, "That _thing_ is made of wool. And it's _green_!" He snarled in outrage, like just the idea of someone buying the atrocity with him in mind, was enough to piss him off again.

Using this chance to take a breather, Dante stabbed his sword into the office's wooden floor and leaned on it. "Alright, I can understand you not liking wool, that stuff's itchy," Just thinking about his experience with the material was enough to make him itch, "But don't hate on green, it's a nice color." Sure, Dante could admit, he would probably never wear anything regarding the color. It wasn't even like the scarf was a neon bright, highlighter green either, just a nice forest green that he could remember Lady wearing a few times before. It looked nice on her, complimented her teal eye and made the brown in her russet one look soft.

He was snapped out of the memory when Vergil sniffed haughtily, "Maybe for someone like you. It makes me look sick." It wasn't his fault his skin was too pale.

"Dude," Sizing his brother up with his brow furrowed in question, Dante inquired, "Are you gay?" With a battle cry, Vergil ran at him.

"I can guarantee you he's not," Trish's input was drowned out by the sounds of steel once again meeting steel. Tilting her head to dodge a bullet only ceased to remind her that she, after all, had her own battle to attend to, "How is it that you can look like a total badass while sucking on a candy cane?"

Across from her stood Lady, an aura of danger radiating off of her person, "Don't try to change the subject with flattery. I know I'm badass, comes with the territory." She took a badassery crunch out of the badass candy cane that was only considered badass because she was holding it, "You, on the other hand, need to prepare to die." She raised Ebony with a steady hand, ready to fire off another bullet.

The blonde rose a recently polished Luce-made possible from the polishing kit she got from Nero- where the gun previously rested against her hip, ready to fire a counter shot if need be. "You're overreacti-"

"I am not!" The irate huntress shouted, "Why the hell would you buy these for me?" She flailed the arm holding the rectangular box around.

Trish rolled her eyes, "Well, I'm pretty sure you understand the concept of safe sex-"

"I'm aware!"

"-so I got them for you in hopes that you would start off small and work your way up. No pun intended, mind you." Surely it wasn't asking too much of Lady to let somebody knock her up one day. One quick glance in the still brawling brothers' direction had her deciding that, _No, it isn't much at all._

"You're unbelievable," Not missing the glance, she let off one shot before letting her arm fall to her side, lifting her other one to study the box clutched in a small hand, "Well, you should do better research, I'm pretty sure these aren't his si-" realizing what she was about to say, she hastily cut herself off.

Unfortunately, she wasn't quick enough, "Oh no, babe," Watching her intently from where he stood locked sword to blade with his brother, Dante grinned, "Finish that sentence."

"Piss off!" Lady, now aggravated and totally not blushing, threw the box at his head, which she cursed him for when he deftly caught it.

"Hmm, you're right, too small," Locking eyes with her before inspecting the box again, he groaned, "And they're strawberry-flavored. What a waste. Here, kid, these are probably up you're alley." He gave a bark of laughter, "Pun totally intended," With one last regretful look, he tossed the box in the direction where Nero sat playing a game on his newly acquired laptop-courtesy of Lady (It's the charity, I'm telling you!)- with Patty sat on one side playing with her pink Nintendo DS that she somehow conned Vergil into getting her on one side and Kyrie sat, now red-faced and writing in the black leather-bound notebook with a gold colored pen, from the blonde girl, on the other.

Catching it without looking having to look up, the teen gave it a quick once-over before snorting, "Pfft, yeah right." With that, he tossed it back in the general direction from which it came where it spontaneously combusted upon meeting Vergil's murderous aura and sending foil wrapped squares all over the place, made all the more entertaining when one bounced off of Trish's forehead.

"What the hell just happened?" Trish, frowning in confusion or the impact, asked.

"Don't know, don't care." Lady, now looking away from Kyrie's red face and deciding she would rather not think too much into it, responded.

Her frown deepened at her friend's carefree attitude, "I don't understand how you can be so laidback like this. That was your present, was it not?"

The woman in question scoffed, "It wasn't like I wa-_Patricia_! Put that down!" she gave a warning glare to where the girl was looking back at her from where she previously had one of the foil packages in her possession, huge light-blue eyes shining in innocence-innocence that they were unintentionally corrupting- before going back on topic, "It wasn't like I was going to use them anyway. For all I know, you probably poked holes in them."

Dante decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, "I doubt Trish's that crazy-" Regrettably, the faith he had in her sanity was wasted.

"Of course I did," she declared like it was something to be proud of, "How else am I supposed to get my precious little future nieces and nephews otherwise." While the others-except for Vergil, it took a lot to disturb him- watched her and questioned her sanity or lack of it, Lady went to massage her temple, she could feel a headache coming on.

"Why do I hang out with you people?" She asked more to herself than anyone else.

Dante, who was now done battling it out with his sibling and had wandered over with the objective to steal her half-eaten candy cane, decided it was his job to bless her with a response, "'Cause you love us, that's why."

Ignoring the half-man and not even bothering to grace him with a rebuke about stealing her candy, she continued to mutter things about "making them disappear" and "making new friends" before she snapped herself out of it with a harsh shake to the head and a sigh. "I must be hungry. A cupcake sounds good right now." Much to her chagrin, this seemed to snap everyone out of their previous trance for they all started to get up to head to the kitchen where the sugar stash was located.

"Oh, yeah. Forgot those were here." Nero paused whatever game he was playing and stretched before he stood up from the couch and extended a hand to each girl to help them up.

Whatever rant she had on the tip of her tongue was cut short when she caught sight of Vergil silently sheathing Yamato. "Vergil," If there was anyone she didn't want between her and her precious cupcakes, it was him. Vergil and his stupid sweet tooth would eat everything without remorse and judging by the way everyone seemed to tense from their previously laidback attitudes, they all knew this would end in his favor if he made it to the kitchen first. "Don't be an asshole."

Giving her one of his infamous haughty smirks over his shoulder, Vergil disappeared with a dark chuckle and a breeze of unnaturally cool air.

"Damn it," Lady swore under her breath, starting for the kitchen with Trish right beside her, "He's being an asshole!"

"You say it like it's news." Nero said from where he walked at the back of the group, arms crossed casually behind his head, "I just hope he doesn't intentionally drop them on the floor, else he'll be the only one eating them." With a laugh, like it was the funniest thing he had heard all day, he vanished into the back where his laughter was cut short in the form of a startled yelp.

Looked like Vergil caught that last part.

x-XMasX-XMasX-x

Dante had just finished tearing the shredded remains of what was once his shirt from his torso and throwing it aside when Lady came back to the room, licking a smidgen of white frosting off her thumb and looking worse for wear.

"What happened to you?" Leaning one denim-clad hip against the wooden desk, since Vergil destroyed his chair in the first few moments of attempting to take his life that day, he eyed the woman's disheveled hair and the newly forming bruise along her bicep.

She settled herself in her usual spot on the corner of his desk which happened to be near him, "It's war in there," as if to compliment her statement, cries of outrage followed by the sounds of a firearm going off and the smashes of porcelain and glass hitting the floor rang out from the dark recesses of the shop where the kitchen was situated.

Dante sighed. Undoubtedly, the damages were going to cost him a fortune. The sound of Patty's delighted laughter had him making a face, "That girl has no concept of danger."

Lady shrugged, taking a bite out of the delicacy she victoriously claimed before she left the battle scene, "She'll be fine, I gave her Ebony."

"You say that like it's a good thing."

"It is a good thing. If you're going to be hanging out here, you need to learn how to use a gun." She glared, daring him to question her obviously smarter logic.

He sighed again, there really was no arguing with her, "If Nina just so happens to stop by, she's gonna kill you."

"No, she'll kill _you_. That's _your_ gun-"

"_You_ gave it to her-"

"Do you really think my sweet little Patricia is going to tell on me?" When Dante glared, she smirked, apparently satisfied with the outcome of her superiority over the argument.

"You're a bitch."

"Or so you claim," she rolled her dual-colored orbs, shifting in her spot to take something out of her back pocket and holding it out to him, "For you."

He eyed the rectangular box speculatively before reaching out to take it. "What is it?"

Leaning back on her newly relieved hand, Lady watched him, eyes unblinking, "Open it," she ordered.

His eyes narrowed on her before going back to the box and then to her again. Was it weird that he found it suspicious that she would try to give him a present right after he just got done insulting her? For all he knew, it was a bomb that would blow up in his face the moment he went to open it. His partner wasn't making the situation any better by staring at him like that.

Deciding to play it safe in case it was indeed a bomb, he decided to do the smartest thing you could do when dealing with a small package and went to shake it. Lady, who happened to see this act of stupidity coming, hissed under her breath before shooting her hand out to grab a hold of his wrist. "Don't do that, you dummy. You'll damage it!"

The devil hunter gave her a look, "You say that after you just sat on it."

"Shut up! Look," she plucked the white box out of his hand, making to stand up, "If you don't want it, I'm pretty sure your brother would appreciate it. You did give him a crappy gift after all."

At the mention of his twin, he had the present back in his hand and opened in two seconds flat. Inspecting the findings, a 34mm steel and white gold Rolex wristwatch, he gave a low whistle, and here he thought the fifty dollar gift card for Pizza Hut he got from Kyrie was going to be his only gift. "This looks expensive."

"It was," watching as he took it out of its black padding and strapped it to his wrist, she stated proudly, "So don't mess it up."

"Wouldn't dream of it, babe." Bringing his arm down from where he was previously setting the watch to, what he hoped, was the right time, he brought his other hand up to rub at the back of his neck, feigning guilt, "I didn't get you anything."

Instead of looking disappointed like he assumed she would, she surprised him by looking relieved, "Good," she said, "'Cause I ate your cupcake."

"What?" Dropping the façade, he glared at her in half-confusion, "Then whose is that?" He gestured to the cupcake she currently had in her hand, eyes narrowed on her own.

"…"

"…"

She stuffed the rest of the confection in her mouth when he made a lunge for it, "_Mmm_," she taunted, her right hand awkwardly holding him at bay, "_Delicious_." She went to work with licking off any leftover traces of the sugary substance from each finger, aware of the icy blue eyes following the movement.

Breaking out of the trance with a short huff, he bent over to roughly push her leg out of the way as he pulled open the second to last drawer of his desk, "I hope you feel bad now," he said, pulling out the velvet casing from its hiding place, "'Cause I did get you something."

"Hmm," her attention now garnered on the object he pulled forth from the desk, she watched attentively as he cracked it open. Gasping audibly when the square-cut ruby ring was revealed to her, smaller-sized diamonds resting out at the surrounding edges. Reaching out her hand to touch the braided-style band, she didn't realize Dante watching her with malicious intent until the velvet box was snapped shut on her fingertips. "Ow! Dumbass, why would you do that?" Shaking an alabaster hand free of pain, she glared at the smirking half-devil.

"That's for eating my cupcake."

"Idiot," she spat, "You ate my candy cane!"

He shrugged uncaringly, "So?"

Giving a snarl that would most definitely make his older brother proud-were they still fighting in there?- she aimed a kick at his shin that, unfortunately, had no affect what-so-ever without her trusty boots to give that extra sting. Making up for it by planting the heel of her sockless foot into one of his own when she hopped off the desk, gravity giving her the added weight, to stomp on one of his own-made satisfactory when he doubled over to nurse said foot- and allowing her to grab hold of the box while he wasn't paying attention.

Taking out the ring from its bedding and tossing its previous resting place aside on the desktop where Dante was still cursing the pain away, she slid the piece of jewelry on the third finger of her right hand, marveling at the way it sparkled in the late afternoon light that made it to her place from the window.

"Now whenever you flip somebody off, it'll be pretty. You like it?" Dante, now recovered and watching her intently, asked. If this was how she reacted with this ring, he couldn't wait to see her face when he got her her next two.

She gave him an absentminded "uh-huh" before glancing from him to the ring and back a couple times. Finally holding his gaze for a few seconds, she looked off to the side, tucking a few stray black stands of hair behind an ear. Stepping a foot closer, Lady planted a hand on one bare and lightly tanned shoulder to give herself some leverage in an attempt to give him a quick peck on the cheek of thanks.

In the future, when she thought back on this moment or used it for reference even, she would learn to take gifts given by him with a hastily given "Thanks!" and-literally- run with it.

Unfortunately for the huntress-fortunate, in Dante's case- she was so caught up in her task to show him her rarely shown gratitude that she didn't notice when one of his hands came to hover at the back of her head, or how he had ice-blue eyes half-lidded in concentration to determine the best time to turn his head at the last possible second, until it was too late.

Turns out those cupcakes were really just as delicious as she made them out to be after all.

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**A/N: **Oh man, this one was over 6,000 words. The longest chapter I've ever written/typed-whatever, mind you. Alright, enough about that. Long story short, I graduated (high school) in June and things went downhill from there, and unfortunately, when I'm pissed off-since I don't do depression- I don't do my best writing so I would rather not give you guys crap and wait until I'm better to start writing again. As you can see, I'm all better now! Sorry about any mistakes or typos, I've reread this thing so many times but there's probably something there. Okay, I'm duN! Hope you lik'd, Plz ReviEw!


	7. Chocolate Strawberries & Charm Bracelets

**A/N: **Man, I am on roll this month! Quickest update I think I've ever done, too. Anyway, this one is short and sweet, I know you guys have been asking for more romance so this is my response to those requests. Hopefully, it isn't as crappy as I think it to be, I'm not too good in the romance department but I'm working on it. For anyone who doesn't have a valentine or didn't get anything on this stupid holiday (I was one of those unfortunates*tear*) Enjoy my Valentine's gift to you!

* * *

_Chocolate Covered Strawberries & Charm Bracelets_

For the first time in years, Dante found himself alone on Valentine's Day.

Don't get him wrong, it wasn't like he cared, he just found it strange that at least one person-he would not be naming names- was around to spend the overpriced holiday with. Well, no, that wasn't right. Patty had come around earlier, but he had kicked her out to go spend the day with her mother. Those two were currently spending the rest of their day baking cupcakes and doing whatever it was mothers and daughters usually did on days like these. And she would be bringing him a half-dozen of those cupcakes-she had unnecessarily called to tell him in that cheery little voice of hers- first thing tomorrow morning before school started.

If Patty still decided to deliver those cupcakes the next morning and she happened to be wearing a very vicious looking scowl on her face, he would tell her that the phone slipped.

Besides her, Trish and his brother were out doing who-knew-what (Dante didn't even want to imagine what that could be), and Kyrie and her Teddy Bear people liked to call Nero were, thankfully, not around him or his shop. He wasn't too upset with that loss. If they acted as cuddly as they did on a day-to-day basis-as his eyes were unfortunate to witness- he didn't want to know what they could be up to when they had an actual reason to be all lovey-dovey. It saved his eyes the agony.

So, that only left him with one person. The heterochromatic eyed beauty was usually the one he spent this crappy holiday with, as she also seemed to never have any plans, but maybe this year was different. Hell, for all he knew she could've found some random guy at the last minute and decided it would be in her best interest if she spent the rest of the evening with said lucky bastard. But, as stated above, it wasn't like he cared. If the bitch decided to go AWOL and waste her time with somebody not him, he wouldn't lose sleep over it. It wasn't like he got her anything…so the lack of her presence did nothing to dampen his already dull mood.

And that was why, with these thought in mind, the devil hunter found his heart not skipping a beat when the roaring sounds of a familiar motorcycle pulled to a stop at the front of his shop, and why he didn't feel relief flood his very being when the black-haired huntress entered his shop a moment later.

Dante could taste the familiar tangy sting of a snarky remark on the tip of his tongue as he studied her disheveled appearance from where she stood in the doorway-the newly glow of the breaking twilight illuminating her figure- but effectively cut off when she started toward him like a woman on a mission, her hand violently digging into a translucent bag he only now noticed, and took his face into her hand.

"Say 'ah'." she ordered. Ignoring the almost alarmed look he gave her, Lady stuffed whatever it was she had taken out of the bag into his mouth. Disregarding the gagging noise coming from the back of his throat as he grabbed at her wrist, she held a hand over his mouth until he stopped his panicking, chewing thoughtfully for a few seconds before he swallowed. "You better like them, I made them myself. Good?" she asked, shaking the bag of what he could now see inhibited burnish color covered fruit in front of him.

"Yeah." He said, taking the bag of chocolate covered strawberries-his second favorite to his sundaes- from her with a frown. "You didn't have to shove them down my throat though."

"Like I had a choice," Lady scoffed, licking off the chocolate residue that had smudged her finger, "You ask too many questions."

Dante grunted at the remark, feeling the creamy mixture coat his tongue as he stuffed another of the confections into his mouth grumpily. "So, is that where you've been all day? Making these?" he shook the bag for emphasis.

She gave him a look. "See what I mean about the questions?" Chuckling when he gave her a look of his own, she pushed off of her previous position, hip resting against the edge of the desk, to start towards the kitchen area. Feeling her hand skim the top of his hair as she passed by him from behind, one cobalt iris watched her from the corner of his eye until she disappeared from sight.

Letting out a heavy breath, Dante shook his head clear of the thoughts that came unbidden to his mind. That touch had been no accident, he knew. But still, It was no use getting worked up over. He was aware of how much Lady liked to tease him, and he was also aware of how much more constant it had gotten recently. Smirking as the memory of flushed cheeks and wide eyes came to mind, he leaned his seat further back from his usual laid back position, not bothering to fix the mussed up strands of pale hair that lay in a mess at the top of his head at the woman's earlier actions.

_It wouldn't be long now…_

Snapping out of his daydream when Lady came out from the back of the shop, he rose a white brow when he caught sight of the large hunk of ice cream cake he had purchased just the day before on one of the still surviving porcelain plates his kitchen cupboard had to offer. "You don't think that's a bit much?" he inquired, taking another strawberry out of the bag.

"Of course not," Not taking offense to the question whatsoever, she brought a forkful to her mouth, smudging vanilla against her lip. He watched intently as the pink muscle of her mouth came out to lick the mess away. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Famous last words."

"Shut up." Setting the plate down on the desk with a loud sounding _clank_, she grabbed the back of his chair to pull him up, catching the usually on-guard hunter off guard. Using his dropped guard to her advantage, she leaned over him to place a kiss to the corner of his mouth, full lips lingering there for more than necessary before she pulled back, her half-lidded eyes staring into his surprised blue ones.

Dante knew he must've looked like an idiot, slack-jawed and eyes wide as he tried to call his thoughts back to order and process the information on what had just occurred. He could feel the blood pounding in his ears, making his head lighter than what he recalled it being just moments ago.

How was it that it was only Lady that could make him feel this way? If it was any other female, he would be taking advantage of their close proximity instead of taking note of how long and dark her lashes were as they framed her half-shuttered orbs. Or how pink and plump her lips looked as they hovered so close to his own, the same lips that were now parting to breathe out a simple, "Thank you, Dante." against his cheek.

Lady watched as his gaze seemingly came into focus in response to her words, backing out of the way when he made a grab for her. She heard him hiss a curse under his breath when she spun out of the way of his second grab, leaving him to catch himself with one hand on the edge of his desk and one foot planted on the floor when he stretched out too far.

"_Bitch_," he snarled when he heard her give a laugh. He really shouldn't have expected anything less from her; she was getting him back for that trifling stunt he pulled on Christmas. Watching the woman as she grabbed her plate up from off the desk and start towards the red furniture decorating his living space, he pushed himself right again. Another set of explicits rolling off of his tongue. "You play too much."

Sending him a saucy wink over her shoulder in response to his comment, she continued to the couch situated opposite of the currently muted TV, popping the strawberry that he only now realized was missing from his hand into her mouth. "These are good." she simply said, the silver charms of her newly adorned bracelet making clinking noises against the porcelain of the plate when she reached down to grab her fork. Dante grunted in affirmation.

Yeah, they were good, he thought to himself as he planted his boot-clad foot back to settle against the ankle of his left one from where it rested on top of the wooden surface of his work desk. If she really made them herself like she said she did, then her cooking skills were finally looking up. Dante smirked again, a white canine peeking from between his lips as he picked out another of the plump red fruit from where it had previously resided inside the bag to take to his mouth.

But he was willing to bet a chocolate covered Lady tasted even better.

* * *

**A/N: **This took longer than what I thought it would on account that I was too busy doing this and watching _The_ _River_ when I started. Does anyone even know what show I'm talking about? It started last Tuesday…? Well, anyways, I hope you liked it, and if you did like it, leave me a review!


	8. Forgiveness

**A/N: **Yay, I'm back! Sorry I took so long, life gets in the way, ya know?

_A special thanx to __**Ladyintime**__ and __**Harumigirl**__ for reviewing again. You really didn't have to, but I still appreciate it all the same! ^_^ And thank you to everyone that added me to your alerts and favorites!_

* * *

_Forgiveness_

"Dante, for the last time, let go of me."

Out of the many years she had known him, Dante had always made it a point to respect her personal space when the situation called for it.

Unfortunately, this was not one of those times.

Although, to be fair, she had probably scared him a little bit…Well, maybe not _scare_ exactly, but more like caught him off guard. After all, she had been out of town for a little under two weeks chasing after some pain-in-the-ass demon and had come back sooner than expected, it should've been a guarantee that she would catch Dante doing something he wouldn't ever dare do in her presence.

And that was why they had both stared at each other in a disturbingly similar state of horror-both for their own reasons- him, mouth agape and blue eyes wide as he froze in his position behind his desk, and her in the doorway, the heavy wood of the front doors slamming shut behind her as the greasy, steaming hot box consisting of an extra-large basil and spicy salami pizza, no olives fell to the floor with a dull thud—

"_Bastard."_

"_Lady…"_

"_You BASTARD!"_

"_W-wait! It's not what it looks like!"_

There had been yelling- lots of yelling, after that. And then there had been a brief struggle when he approached her in a dumb attempt to placate her—

_She took a swing at him, he dodged. She came back with an elbow, feeling a great satisfaction when he flinched as it connected with his sternum- but that satisfaction was short-lived as she realized that he could've avoided the hit- he only took it in a weak attempt to make her feel better._

_A snarl took over then, twisting her once beautifully flushed features into something vicious as she turned on her heel, ready to walk away from him- a surprised gasp leaving her as she felt those strong arms wrap around her waist, pulling her to him, her back pressed up so tightly against his naked torso—_

Five minutes later and they were in an identical position.

She had fought back at first of course. Squirmed about until her arms were free enough to dig into his forearms, her short nails gripping at skin and muscle to somehow pry him from around her. That had only worked until he had grown tired of her futile attempt to break free from him and instead caught her hands with his own, the larger appendages cupping her smaller ones as he brought them once again around her midriff and held firm.

Not like that had stopped her. Just because her arms were apprehended didn't mean she couldn't use her legs-

-except she and Dante had been on the same page as he had picked her up before she could stomp on his foot or smash the heel of her boot into the shin behind her. And since she knew she probably looked kinda silly as she kicked about with her feet six inches above the ground she decided to concede defeat for the moment. Although that didn't stop her mouth from spitting enough obscenities and insults to make any sailor seem saint-like.

That had been a while ago though, and she had since tired herself out since then (well…not really, but she thought it would be better if she saved those energy reserves in case he foolishly let his guard down) plus, she couldn't find it in herself to stay mad at him for any longer.

There truly was no point. It wasn't like she had any claim over him and controlled what he did. Dante was his own person after all and-regardless of her own personal reasons- maybe she just took too long. There was only so much patience one person (or half-devil) had and he had apparently had enough of waiting for her… It was a hard pill to swallow, but for the sake of their friendship, she would accept it, no matter how bitter an aftertaste the metaphorical pill left on her tongue.

Which was why, even after a few minutes of forced calm, she still found herself glued back-to-chest to the devil hunter, the heat of his unclothed upper half burning through the back of her shirt to warm the skin underneath as, all the while, she gazed impassively at the chips and contours the worn wood of the front doors had to offer. She found the last little tidbit strange since, from what she could recall, she had been heading to the kitchen to grab a fork or two…maybe poke him around a little…

Of course there was the 9mm strapped to the holster on her thigh that she could've used, but she had stopped shooting him years ago and she wasn't as livid as to start up the bad habit again.

As she felt the half-devil shift against her, Lady blew a heavy breath through parted lips, unintentionally disturbing the strands of dark hair tossed about her face from their earlier tussle. Shifting her weight to better accommodate the new position, she tried to relax in his hold.

Unfortunately he still thought she was upset and was going to beat the crap out of him the moment he let go of her, but he was wrong. He had done (and still did) a lot of stupid shit both in and out of her presence that she gave him hell over so this wasn't at the top of the list, and although he might not know it yet, she had already forgiven him.

That did not, however, change the fact that she wanted him _off_.

"Dan-"

"_I'm sorry._"

Her eye gave a violent twitch.

_Just let it go_, she told herself, taking a breath in and holding it on a ten-second count before letting it out, _what's done is done, no use getting mad over it._

But try as she might to 'just let it go', she found that it wasn't quite so easy. Maybe it _would_ be easier in a few hours, but with him holding her captive as he was, the cold, copper button of his jeans digging uncomfortably into her lower back, was doing wonders for her temper.

And so she wriggled out of his hold like she should've done moments ago and whipped around-as to give herself no time from meeting the inevitable- to face him, a heavy reproach on the tip of her tongue. That had all came to a standstill the moment she fully faced him and came face to face to what she had a time ago dubbed the Baby Face.

Unfortunately, Dante felt that this would be a good time for it to make a comeback.

It worked, for the most part because she let it, and instead of giving life to harsh words that would only give her a temporary relief on her next breath, she sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in as many minutes, feeling her shoulders slump in defeat.

Feeling it safe, he stepped forward, closing the two feet or so of space she created with her movements, bringing large, calloused hands to smooth through her disheveled locks before he brought them to rest against her cheeks.

It was a strangely intimate position and she was sure that if anyone chose to walk through the door right then, they would get the wrong idea, but she couldn't call up the nerve to care. Although, it did somewhat unnerve her that the only thing that bothered her was the lack of discomfort she was feeling from the close contact.

Brushing the thought out of mind, she instead focused on the already fading discoloration below his right eye; the result of her smashing the back of her head against his cheek-she was aiming for his nose- in her last botched attempt to break free, and tried not to flinch when his soft exhalations brushed across her face. She could pick up the faint scent of his earlier sin carrying along his every breath.

Dante seemed to sense this and so he backed off a little, turning his gaze to the floor before meeting hers, his face a perfect picture of regret.

"Sorry." He once more apologized, his thumbs tracing a pattern of warmth against the apple of her cheeks.

Lady gave a huff, her fingers ghosting over his bottom lip, as if she could steal a taste of what she could no longer have, before she cupped the side of his face, a small, tired smile pulling at her mouth.

"You're really sorry, aren't you?" she inquired softly, and then rolled her bi-colored orbs as was habit when his pout came back in full force, as if that would soften the blow he still thought was coming. Giving off one last exasperated sigh, the huntress continued, "Fine," she breathed, and had to hold back a shudder when a rough-skinned finger caressed the soft cartilage of her ear as he brushed her dark strands behind it, "I'll let it go just this once.

"But know this," and before Dante even had a chance to let out the breath he didn't even realize he was holding in relief, she had taken his still healing cheek between her thumb and forefinger and pinched down hard, her small smile from before now having a nasty edge to it, "If you _ever_ eat my chocolate again, there's gonna be hell to pay. You got me?"

Satisfied when she garnered a painful groan of "yes, ma'am." from him, she gave his cheek a less than gentle pat-she might as well have just slapped him- before she let go, his hands slipping off of her face to tend to his new bruise as she stepped back and turned on heel to head to the kitchen, stepping over the forgotten pizza box on her way.

She knew he had a strawberry sundae around there somewhere, and she planned to eat it the moment she got her hands on it. And, sure, she had already forgiven him for eating all twenty-eight of the _Lindor Milk Chocolate Truffles_ she had been looking forward to devouring since before she left on her job, but she'd be damned if she didn't get even.

That was just the way her version of 'forgiveness' worked.

* * *

**A/N:** Haha! I think it's funny after you read it through the second time. Hope you liked it, I know I last updated this in February (a couple weeks before my laptop crashed and before ffNet deleted my fanfic (those bastards)) so I thought I would post something for it. Well, that and I sorta promised _**Harumigirl**_ that I would upload something soon, so why not this. Not sure when the next chapter will be since I'm working on, like, ten one-shots…alright, I'm kidding, it's more like twelve- and don't look at me like that, I'm serious, I was even nice enough to update my page and let you in on just some of the things I have planned, so go check that out if you're curious. Well, that's all for this, til next time!


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